Monday, December 27, 2010
Holiday stuff
Santa didn't bring me a lump of coal, so all is good. Book sales are going OK. Cardiologist the end of this week. Travelling middle of January. Very little of the exciting sort.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Happy gobble gobble gobble part deux
>THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY AT THANKSGIVING, BUT AREN'T...
>
>"Whew, that's one terrific spread!"
>"I'm in the mood for a little dark meat."
>"Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist."
>"Talk about a huge breast!"
>"It's Cool Whip time!"
>"If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!"
>"Are you ready for seconds yet?"
>"It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?"
>"Just wait your turn, you'll get some!"
>"Don't play with your meat."
>"Just spread the legs open & stuff it in."
>"Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?"
>"I didn't expect everyone to come at once!"
>"You still have a little bit on your chin."
>"Use a nice smooth stroke when you whip it."
>"How long will it take after you stick it in?"
>"You'll know it's ready when it pops up."
>"Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!"
>"How many are coming?"
>"That's the biggest one I've ever seen!"
>"Just lay back & take it easy... I'll do the rest."
>"How long do I beat it before it's ready
>
>
>"Whew, that's one terrific spread!"
>"I'm in the mood for a little dark meat."
>"Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist."
>"Talk about a huge breast!"
>"It's Cool Whip time!"
>"If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!"
>"Are you ready for seconds yet?"
>"It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?"
>"Just wait your turn, you'll get some!"
>"Don't play with your meat."
>"Just spread the legs open & stuff it in."
>"Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?"
>"I didn't expect everyone to come at once!"
>"You still have a little bit on your chin."
>"Use a nice smooth stroke when you whip it."
>"How long will it take after you stick it in?"
>"You'll know it's ready when it pops up."
>"Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!"
>"How many are coming?"
>"That's the biggest one I've ever seen!"
>"Just lay back & take it easy... I'll do the rest."
>"How long do I beat it before it's ready
>
Sunday, November 21, 2010
TSA news
Roaming around he internet is always fun from the standpoint of reading indignantly righteous people with their poison pens bitching about any subject available. The news is always a good minefield for these folks to plant their overactive libidos, imaginations and indignations. Lately the phlethora of words are about the TSA and how abusive the procedures have become. What with full body scans, and pat downs . . . My aunt admonished me (no kidding) to always wear clean underwear in case I got into an accident. I always figured that if I was in a serious accident, my resultant stained underwear would be the least of my problems. But, however. People with, what I perceive as having dirty drawers, are now complaining that some scanner dude will see such and post this information with other arrivals on the flight marque boards. Make a choice America. Get scanned or get your asses blown off.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
election
I am sure that many of the pundits will slice and dice the election costing billions yesterday. Each will declare an epiphany of political savvy. None will declare that they actually voted or that their vote counted. None will decry the billions spent on campaigns filled with smear, misdirection, and outright lies. All will declare that their side won - even in a loss. Torches will be passed to the new representative or senator with grace, aplomb and civility with a set of rules defined by chivalric and Victorian courtesies. Crap! It is all crap. We as citizens do not really get to elect fair, impartial and representative advocates of our needs. America ignored the upcoming recession as they overbought houses, overextended their own credit and bought anything Chinese from Wal-Mart. We lived in a bubble of false security, a propensity for fooling ourselves that everything will be OK, and the US of A will always be safe from economic or physical harm.
Consider that the same politicians (in effect) lost Viet Nam; can't really do anything about terrorism except throw money at Homeland Security and hope the cash will mix with someone's blood, make a slurry and dry to create impenatrable adobe blocks that will somehow also solve the illegal alien issues; are still clueless about the current recession; and, likely ignore the people that they pledge to serve.
Consider that the same politicians (in effect) lost Viet Nam; can't really do anything about terrorism except throw money at Homeland Security and hope the cash will mix with someone's blood, make a slurry and dry to create impenatrable adobe blocks that will somehow also solve the illegal alien issues; are still clueless about the current recession; and, likely ignore the people that they pledge to serve.
Friday, October 29, 2010
new terrorist stuff
Gee - ya' think that we should be more careful about packages from Yemen??? How about the rest of the world??? I, for one am sick of this 21st century terrorist crap. Don't travel to Europe because of a possible threat. Don't use the toilet because a bomb (or snake, or spider, or alligator etc.) could be lurking there. Now here is a great thought. Young lady from Scandenavia did a book on where the pig parts go - seems that this little piggy went to 185 different places for uses. We all know about food, hides, insulin and glue; but, did we have any idea that ammo was one of the uses. Now, follow me on this. We're shootin' Taliban and other baddies trained in Pakistan with pig parts. Will this fact negate the 70 virgins awaiting when they get their butts blown off from American ammo? Brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it. The moral to this story is to be sure to use made in the USA bullets the next time you are confronted with a Jihadist.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
rip offs you miss
I try real hard not to get excited about the small crap in everyday life. The real big stuff like, "God did it," swears Mary, I leave to others. However, I do get off on sneaky charges added to something I buy. Heading home from Sam's Club today, I stopped at Filibertos for a burrito and a coke. No big deal as I fumble out my debit card and hand it over. When the slip comes back to me there is a $.60 processing fee added on> Hmmm, that's 9% vig on top of the bill. Considering that I paid 8.8% tax to the city and state, I now have paid about 17% more for my food. My point is: If you are buying something the charges levied should be stated up-front. Kinda the honest thing to do, don't you think?
On the ankle issue, had to put off the final surgery. Had noone to drive me home and 'watch me' for the ensuing 24 hours after anesthetic. Life goes on.
On the ankle issue, had to put off the final surgery. Had noone to drive me home and 'watch me' for the ensuing 24 hours after anesthetic. Life goes on.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
I'm back - sort of
I've been out of touch with everything lately. After 5 monthis in the hospital and somewhat depressed about it, I'm preparin g to return to surgery for a final nip and tuck, screw removal, etc. Hopefully, this will be the last of the cutting games for the foot. Have that nasty hole in my stomach that they are talking about repairing - finally. Anyway, life is OK - baked a chicken (French style) tonight for dinner. Was too busy connecting my new computer to my Xbox to get to it while it was warm. Oh well . . .
Monday, August 2, 2010
███Speed look here███
███Speed look here███
This was not my post !!!!! Some A.hole used my site for their cheap commercial crap.
Friday, June 4, 2010
Walking cast
Seems the walking boot they put on me chafed causing lots of blood and other ick to dry in the sock and attach to the wounds. Now with the resultant infection under control and a new hard cast on my leg, I'm back to sort of square one. Anyway I endure.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
gulf oil spill
Maybe I missed something. But, I don't understand how Obama (insert any president's name)is responsible for the Gulf oil spill. Yeah, the feds should be responsible for accessing the cause - and blame - for the accident. Is the FAA responsible for plane crashes?
Friday, May 28, 2010
stephen hawking list
10. “Einstein was wrong when he said “God does not play dice”. Consideration of black holes suggests, not only that God does play dice, but that He sometimes confuses us by throwing them where they can’t be seen.”
9. “I have noticed even people who claim everything is predestined, and that we can do nothing to change it, look before they cross the road.”
8. “My goal is simple. It is a complete understanding of the universe, why it is as it is and why it exists at all.”
7. “I find that American & Scandinavian accents work better with women.” In response to a question about the American accent of his synthesiser.
6. “Someone told me that each equation I included in the book would halve the sales. In the end, however, I did put in one equation, Einstein’s famous equation, E = mc2. I hope that this will not scare off half of my potential readers.”
5. “My expectations were reduced to zero when I was 21. Everything since then has been a bonus.”
4. “To show this diagram properly, I would really need a four dimensional screen. However, because of government cuts, we could manage to provide only a two dimensional screen.”
3. “Life would be tragic if it weren’t funny.”
2. “The whole history of science has been the gradual realization that events do not happen in an arbitrary manner, but that they reflect a certain underlying order, which may or may not be pinely inspired.”
1. “Eternity is a very long time, especially towards the end.”
9. “I have noticed even people who claim everything is predestined, and that we can do nothing to change it, look before they cross the road.”
8. “My goal is simple. It is a complete understanding of the universe, why it is as it is and why it exists at all.”
7. “I find that American & Scandinavian accents work better with women.” In response to a question about the American accent of his synthesiser.
6. “Someone told me that each equation I included in the book would halve the sales. In the end, however, I did put in one equation, Einstein’s famous equation, E = mc2. I hope that this will not scare off half of my potential readers.”
5. “My expectations were reduced to zero when I was 21. Everything since then has been a bonus.”
4. “To show this diagram properly, I would really need a four dimensional screen. However, because of government cuts, we could manage to provide only a two dimensional screen.”
3. “Life would be tragic if it weren’t funny.”
2. “The whole history of science has been the gradual realization that events do not happen in an arbitrary manner, but that they reflect a certain underlying order, which may or may not be pinely inspired.”
1. “Eternity is a very long time, especially towards the end.”
Thursday, May 27, 2010
home invasion
Catch 22 again rears its ugly head! Seems an 80 something guy in Chicago is confronted with a robber breaking into his house. He killed the perp with his handgun. (There was an exchange of gunfire). Now the homeowner could face charges for possessing a handgun in Chicago. Good that the Supreme Court may be looking at the Chicago law against law abiding citizens defending themselves. Book had a little technical glitch that I had to fix this morning. All done, I hope.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
nothing list
20 Things You Didn't Know About... Nothing
1. There is vastly more nothing than something. Roughly 74 percent of the universe is “nothing,” or what physicists call dark energy; 22 percent is dark matter, particles we cannot see. Only 4 percent is baryonic matter, the stuff we call something.
2. And even something is mostly nothing. Atoms overwhelmingly consist of empty space. Matter’s solidity is an illusion caused by the electric fields created by subatomic particles.
3. There is more and more nothing every second. In 1998 astronomers measuring the expansion of the universe determined that dark energy is pushing apart the universe at an ever-accelerating speed. The discovery of nothing—and its ability to influence the fate of the cosmos—is considered the most important astronomical finding of the past decade.
4. But even nothing has a weight. The energy in dark matter is equivalent to a tiny mass; there is about one pound of dark energy in a cube of empty space 250,000 miles on each side.
5. In space, no one can hear you scream: Sound, a mechanical wave, cannot travel through a vacuum. Without matter to vibrate through, there is only silence.
6. So what if Kramer falls in a forest? Luckily, electromagnetic waves, including light and radio waves, need no medium to travel through, letting TV stations broadcast endless reruns of Seinfeld, the show about nothing.
7. Light can travel through a vacuum, but there is nothing to refract it. Alas for extraterrestrial romantics, stars do not twinkle in outer space.
8. Black holes are not holes or voids; they are the exact opposite of nothing, being the densest concentration of mass known in the universe.
9. “Zero” was first seen in cuneiform tablets written around 300 B.C. by Babylonians who used it as a placeholder (to distinguish 36 from 306 or 360, for example). The concept of zero in its mathematical sense was developed in India in the fifth century.
10. Any number divided by zero is . . . nothing, not even zero. The equation is mathematically impossible.
11. It is said that Abdülhamid II, sultan of the Ottoman Empire in the early 1900s, had censors expunge references to H2O from chemistry books because he was sure it stood for “Hamid the Second is nothing.”
12. Medieval art was mostly flat and two-dimensional until the 15th century, when the Florentine architect Filippo Brunelleschi conceived of the vanishing point, the place where parallel lines converge into nothingness. This allowed for the development of perspective in art.
13. Aristotle once wrote, “Nature abhors a vacuum,” and so did he. His complete rejection of vacuums and voids and his subsequent influence on centuries of learning prevented the adoption of the concept of zero in the Western world until around the 13th century, when Italian bankers found it to be extraordinarily useful in financial transactions.
14. Vacuums do not suck things. They create spaces into which the surrounding atmosphere pushes matter.
15. Creatio ex nihilo, the belief that the world was created out of nothing, is one of the most common themes in ancient myths and religions.
16. Current theories suggest that the universe was created out of a state of vacuum energy, that is, nothing.
17. But to a physicist there is no such thing as nothing. Empty space is instead filled with pairs of particles and antiparticles, called virtual particles, that quickly form and then, in accordance with the law of energy conservation, annihilate each other in about 10-25 second.
18. So Aristotle was right all along.
19. These virtual particles popping in and out of existence create energy. In fact, according to quantum mechanics, the energy contained in all the power plants and nuclear weapons in the world doesn’t equal the theoretical energy contained in the empty spaces between these words.
20. In other words, nothing could be the key to the theory of everything.
1. There is vastly more nothing than something. Roughly 74 percent of the universe is “nothing,” or what physicists call dark energy; 22 percent is dark matter, particles we cannot see. Only 4 percent is baryonic matter, the stuff we call something.
2. And even something is mostly nothing. Atoms overwhelmingly consist of empty space. Matter’s solidity is an illusion caused by the electric fields created by subatomic particles.
3. There is more and more nothing every second. In 1998 astronomers measuring the expansion of the universe determined that dark energy is pushing apart the universe at an ever-accelerating speed. The discovery of nothing—and its ability to influence the fate of the cosmos—is considered the most important astronomical finding of the past decade.
4. But even nothing has a weight. The energy in dark matter is equivalent to a tiny mass; there is about one pound of dark energy in a cube of empty space 250,000 miles on each side.
5. In space, no one can hear you scream: Sound, a mechanical wave, cannot travel through a vacuum. Without matter to vibrate through, there is only silence.
6. So what if Kramer falls in a forest? Luckily, electromagnetic waves, including light and radio waves, need no medium to travel through, letting TV stations broadcast endless reruns of Seinfeld, the show about nothing.
7. Light can travel through a vacuum, but there is nothing to refract it. Alas for extraterrestrial romantics, stars do not twinkle in outer space.
8. Black holes are not holes or voids; they are the exact opposite of nothing, being the densest concentration of mass known in the universe.
9. “Zero” was first seen in cuneiform tablets written around 300 B.C. by Babylonians who used it as a placeholder (to distinguish 36 from 306 or 360, for example). The concept of zero in its mathematical sense was developed in India in the fifth century.
10. Any number divided by zero is . . . nothing, not even zero. The equation is mathematically impossible.
11. It is said that Abdülhamid II, sultan of the Ottoman Empire in the early 1900s, had censors expunge references to H2O from chemistry books because he was sure it stood for “Hamid the Second is nothing.”
12. Medieval art was mostly flat and two-dimensional until the 15th century, when the Florentine architect Filippo Brunelleschi conceived of the vanishing point, the place where parallel lines converge into nothingness. This allowed for the development of perspective in art.
13. Aristotle once wrote, “Nature abhors a vacuum,” and so did he. His complete rejection of vacuums and voids and his subsequent influence on centuries of learning prevented the adoption of the concept of zero in the Western world until around the 13th century, when Italian bankers found it to be extraordinarily useful in financial transactions.
14. Vacuums do not suck things. They create spaces into which the surrounding atmosphere pushes matter.
15. Creatio ex nihilo, the belief that the world was created out of nothing, is one of the most common themes in ancient myths and religions.
16. Current theories suggest that the universe was created out of a state of vacuum energy, that is, nothing.
17. But to a physicist there is no such thing as nothing. Empty space is instead filled with pairs of particles and antiparticles, called virtual particles, that quickly form and then, in accordance with the law of energy conservation, annihilate each other in about 10-25 second.
18. So Aristotle was right all along.
19. These virtual particles popping in and out of existence create energy. In fact, according to quantum mechanics, the energy contained in all the power plants and nuclear weapons in the world doesn’t equal the theoretical energy contained in the empty spaces between these words.
20. In other words, nothing could be the key to the theory of everything.
Hard Copy
Hard copy of Gray Team Alpha now available from Amazon and other retailers. ISBN1452895562
EAN-139781452895567
EAN-139781452895567
Monday, May 24, 2010
86 rules of drinking
1. If you owe someone money, always pay them back in a bar. Preferably during Happy Hour.
2. Always toast before doing a shot.
3. Whoever buys the shot gets the first chance to offer a toast.
4. Change your toast at least once a month.
5. Buying someone a drink is five times better than a handshake.
6. Buying a strange woman a drink is still cool. Buying all her drinks is dumb.
7. Never borrow more than one cigarette from the same person in one night.
8. When the bartender is slammed, resist the powerful urge to order a slightly-dirty,very-dry, in-and-out, super-chilled half-and-half martini with a lemon twist. Limit orders to beer, straight shots and two-part cocktails.
9. Get the bartender's attention with eye contact and a smile.
10. Do not make eye contact with the bartender if you do not want a drink.
11. Unacceptable things to say after doing a shot: Great, now I'm going to get drunk. I hate shots. It's coming back up.
12. Never, ever tell a bartender he made your drink too strong.
13. If he makes it too weak, order a double next time. He'll get the message.
14. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she refuses, she does not like you.
15. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she accepts, she still might not like you.
16. If she buys you a drink, she likes you.
17. If someone offers to buy you a drink, do not upgrade your liquor preference.
18. Always have a corkscrew in your house.
19. If you don't have a corkscrew, push the cork down into the bottle with a pen.
20. Drink one girly drink in public, and you will forever be known as the guy who
drinks girly drinks.
21. Our parents were better drinkers than we are.
22. Never talk to someone in the restroom unless you're doing the same thing -
urinating, waiting in line or washing your hands.
23. Girls hang out, apply make-up, and have long talks in the bathroom.
Men do not.
24. After your sixth drink, do not look at yourself in the mirror. It will shake
your confidence.
25. It is only permissible to shout 'woo-hoo!' if you are doing a shot with four or
more people.
26. If there is a DJ, you can request a song only once per night. If he doesn't play it
within half an hour, don't approach him again. If he does play it, don't approach him again.
27. Learn how to make a rose out of a bar napkin. You'll be surprised how well it works.
28. If you can't afford to tip, you can't afford to drink in a bar. Go to the liquor store.
29. If you owe someone twenty dollars or less, you may pay them back in beer.
30. Never complain about the quality or brand of a free drink.
31. If you have been roommates with someone more than six months, you may drink all
their beer, even if it's hidden, as long as you leave them one.
32. You can have a shot of their hard liquor only if the cap has been cracked and the
bottle goes for less than $25.
33. The only thing that tastes better than free liquor is stolen liquor.
34. If you bring Old Milwaukee to a party, you must drink at least 2 cans before you
start drinking the imported beer in the fridge.
35. Learn to appreciate hangovers. If it was all good times every jackass would
be doing it.
36. If you ever feel depressed, get out a bartender's guide and browse thru
all the drinks you've never tried.
37. Try one new drink each week.
38. If you're the bar's sole customer, you are obliged to make small talk with the
bartender until he stops acknowledging you. Then you're off the hook.
The same goes for him.
39. Never tip with coins that have touched you. If your change is $1.50, you can tell
the barmaid to keep the change, but, once she has handed it to you, you cannot give it back.
To a bartender or cocktail waitress, small change has no value.
40. If you have ever told a bartender, "Hey, it all spends the same," then you are
a cheap ass.
41. Anyone on stage or behind a bar is fifty percent better looking.
42. You can tell how hard a drinker someone is by how close they keep their drink
to their mouth.
43. A bar is a college, not a nursery. If you spill a beer, clean it up. If you break
a glass, wait for a staff member to clean it up, then blame it on someone else.
44. Being drunk is feeling sophisticated without being able to say it.
45. It's okay to drink alone.
46. After three drinks, you will forget a woman's name two seconds after she
tells you. The rest of the night you will call her "baby" or "darling".
47. Nothing screams 'Gay' louder than swirling an oversized brandy snifter.
48. Men don't drink from straws. Unless you're doing a Mind or Face Eraser.
49. If you do a shot, finish it. If you don't plan to finish it, don't accept it.
50. Never brood in a dance bar. Never dance in a dive bar.
51. Never play more than three songs by the same artist in a row.
52. Your songs will come on as you're leaving the bar.
53. Never yell out jukebox selections to someone you don't know.
54. Never lie in a bar. You may, however, grossly exaggerate and lean.
55. If you think you might be slurring a little, then you are slurring a lot. If you
think you are slurring a lot, then you are not speaking English.
56. Screaming, "Someone buy me a drink!" has never worked.
57. For every drink, there is a five percent better chance you will get in a fight.
There is also a three percent better chance you will lose the fight.
58. Fighting an extremely drunk person when you are sober is hilarious.
59. If you're broke and a friend is "sporting you", you must laugh at all his jokes
and play wingman when he makes his move.
60. If you're broke and a friend is "ragging on you", you may steal any drink he
leaves unattended.
61. Never rest your head on a table or bar top. It is the equivalent of voluntarily
putting your head on a chopping block.
62. If you are trading rounds with a friend and he asks if you're ready for another,
always say "Yes". Once you fall out of sync you will end up buying
more drinks than him.
63. If you're going to hit on a member of the bar staff, make sure you tip well
before and after, regardless of her response.
64. The people with the most money are rarely the best tippers.
65. Before you die, single-handedly make one decent martini.
66. Asking a bartender what beers are on tap when the handles are right in front
of you is the equivalent of saying, "I'm an idiot."
67. Never ask a bartender "What's good tonight?" They do not fly in the scotch
fresh from the coast every morning.
68. If there is a line for drinks, get your damn drink and step the hell away from the bar.
69. If there is ever any confusion, the fuller beer is yours.
70. The patrons at your local bar are your extended family, your father, hers, your
brothers and sisters. Except you get to sleep with these sisters. And if you're really
drunk, the mothers.
71. It's acceptable, traditional, in fact, to disappear during a night of hard drinking.
You will appear mysterious, and your friends will understand. If they even notice.
72. Never argue your tab at the end of the night. Remember, you're hammered, and they're
sober. It's akin to a precocious five-year-old arguing the super-string theory with a
physicist. 99.9% of the time you're wrong and, either way, you're going to come off
as a jackass.
73. If you bring booze to a party, you must drink it or leave it.
74. If you hesitate more than three seconds after the bartender looks at you, you do not
deserve a drink.
75. Beer makes you mellow, champagne makes you silly, wine makes you dramatic, tequila
makes you felonious.
76. The greatest thing a drunkard can do is buy a round of drinks for a packed bar.
77. Never preface a conversation with a bartender with "I know this is going to
be a hassle, but . . ."
78. When you're in a bar and drunk, your boss is just another guy begging for a
fat lip. Unless he's buying.
79. If you are 86'd, do not return for at least three months. To come back sooner makes it
appear no other bar wants you.
80. Anyone with three or more drinks in his hands has the right of way.
81. If you're going to drink on the job, drink vodka. It's the no-tell liquor.
82. There's nothing wrong with drinking before noon. Especially if you're supposed to be
at work.
83. The bar clock moves twice as fast from midnight to last call.
84. A flask engraved with a personal message is one of the best gifts you can ever give.
And make sure there's something in it.
85. On the intimacy scale, sharing a quiet drink is between a handshake and a kiss.
86. You will forget everyone of of these rules by your fifth drink.
2. Always toast before doing a shot.
3. Whoever buys the shot gets the first chance to offer a toast.
4. Change your toast at least once a month.
5. Buying someone a drink is five times better than a handshake.
6. Buying a strange woman a drink is still cool. Buying all her drinks is dumb.
7. Never borrow more than one cigarette from the same person in one night.
8. When the bartender is slammed, resist the powerful urge to order a slightly-dirty,very-dry, in-and-out, super-chilled half-and-half martini with a lemon twist. Limit orders to beer, straight shots and two-part cocktails.
9. Get the bartender's attention with eye contact and a smile.
10. Do not make eye contact with the bartender if you do not want a drink.
11. Unacceptable things to say after doing a shot: Great, now I'm going to get drunk. I hate shots. It's coming back up.
12. Never, ever tell a bartender he made your drink too strong.
13. If he makes it too weak, order a double next time. He'll get the message.
14. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she refuses, she does not like you.
15. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she accepts, she still might not like you.
16. If she buys you a drink, she likes you.
17. If someone offers to buy you a drink, do not upgrade your liquor preference.
18. Always have a corkscrew in your house.
19. If you don't have a corkscrew, push the cork down into the bottle with a pen.
20. Drink one girly drink in public, and you will forever be known as the guy who
drinks girly drinks.
21. Our parents were better drinkers than we are.
22. Never talk to someone in the restroom unless you're doing the same thing -
urinating, waiting in line or washing your hands.
23. Girls hang out, apply make-up, and have long talks in the bathroom.
Men do not.
24. After your sixth drink, do not look at yourself in the mirror. It will shake
your confidence.
25. It is only permissible to shout 'woo-hoo!' if you are doing a shot with four or
more people.
26. If there is a DJ, you can request a song only once per night. If he doesn't play it
within half an hour, don't approach him again. If he does play it, don't approach him again.
27. Learn how to make a rose out of a bar napkin. You'll be surprised how well it works.
28. If you can't afford to tip, you can't afford to drink in a bar. Go to the liquor store.
29. If you owe someone twenty dollars or less, you may pay them back in beer.
30. Never complain about the quality or brand of a free drink.
31. If you have been roommates with someone more than six months, you may drink all
their beer, even if it's hidden, as long as you leave them one.
32. You can have a shot of their hard liquor only if the cap has been cracked and the
bottle goes for less than $25.
33. The only thing that tastes better than free liquor is stolen liquor.
34. If you bring Old Milwaukee to a party, you must drink at least 2 cans before you
start drinking the imported beer in the fridge.
35. Learn to appreciate hangovers. If it was all good times every jackass would
be doing it.
36. If you ever feel depressed, get out a bartender's guide and browse thru
all the drinks you've never tried.
37. Try one new drink each week.
38. If you're the bar's sole customer, you are obliged to make small talk with the
bartender until he stops acknowledging you. Then you're off the hook.
The same goes for him.
39. Never tip with coins that have touched you. If your change is $1.50, you can tell
the barmaid to keep the change, but, once she has handed it to you, you cannot give it back.
To a bartender or cocktail waitress, small change has no value.
40. If you have ever told a bartender, "Hey, it all spends the same," then you are
a cheap ass.
41. Anyone on stage or behind a bar is fifty percent better looking.
42. You can tell how hard a drinker someone is by how close they keep their drink
to their mouth.
43. A bar is a college, not a nursery. If you spill a beer, clean it up. If you break
a glass, wait for a staff member to clean it up, then blame it on someone else.
44. Being drunk is feeling sophisticated without being able to say it.
45. It's okay to drink alone.
46. After three drinks, you will forget a woman's name two seconds after she
tells you. The rest of the night you will call her "baby" or "darling".
47. Nothing screams 'Gay' louder than swirling an oversized brandy snifter.
48. Men don't drink from straws. Unless you're doing a Mind or Face Eraser.
49. If you do a shot, finish it. If you don't plan to finish it, don't accept it.
50. Never brood in a dance bar. Never dance in a dive bar.
51. Never play more than three songs by the same artist in a row.
52. Your songs will come on as you're leaving the bar.
53. Never yell out jukebox selections to someone you don't know.
54. Never lie in a bar. You may, however, grossly exaggerate and lean.
55. If you think you might be slurring a little, then you are slurring a lot. If you
think you are slurring a lot, then you are not speaking English.
56. Screaming, "Someone buy me a drink!" has never worked.
57. For every drink, there is a five percent better chance you will get in a fight.
There is also a three percent better chance you will lose the fight.
58. Fighting an extremely drunk person when you are sober is hilarious.
59. If you're broke and a friend is "sporting you", you must laugh at all his jokes
and play wingman when he makes his move.
60. If you're broke and a friend is "ragging on you", you may steal any drink he
leaves unattended.
61. Never rest your head on a table or bar top. It is the equivalent of voluntarily
putting your head on a chopping block.
62. If you are trading rounds with a friend and he asks if you're ready for another,
always say "Yes". Once you fall out of sync you will end up buying
more drinks than him.
63. If you're going to hit on a member of the bar staff, make sure you tip well
before and after, regardless of her response.
64. The people with the most money are rarely the best tippers.
65. Before you die, single-handedly make one decent martini.
66. Asking a bartender what beers are on tap when the handles are right in front
of you is the equivalent of saying, "I'm an idiot."
67. Never ask a bartender "What's good tonight?" They do not fly in the scotch
fresh from the coast every morning.
68. If there is a line for drinks, get your damn drink and step the hell away from the bar.
69. If there is ever any confusion, the fuller beer is yours.
70. The patrons at your local bar are your extended family, your father, hers, your
brothers and sisters. Except you get to sleep with these sisters. And if you're really
drunk, the mothers.
71. It's acceptable, traditional, in fact, to disappear during a night of hard drinking.
You will appear mysterious, and your friends will understand. If they even notice.
72. Never argue your tab at the end of the night. Remember, you're hammered, and they're
sober. It's akin to a precocious five-year-old arguing the super-string theory with a
physicist. 99.9% of the time you're wrong and, either way, you're going to come off
as a jackass.
73. If you bring booze to a party, you must drink it or leave it.
74. If you hesitate more than three seconds after the bartender looks at you, you do not
deserve a drink.
75. Beer makes you mellow, champagne makes you silly, wine makes you dramatic, tequila
makes you felonious.
76. The greatest thing a drunkard can do is buy a round of drinks for a packed bar.
77. Never preface a conversation with a bartender with "I know this is going to
be a hassle, but . . ."
78. When you're in a bar and drunk, your boss is just another guy begging for a
fat lip. Unless he's buying.
79. If you are 86'd, do not return for at least three months. To come back sooner makes it
appear no other bar wants you.
80. Anyone with three or more drinks in his hands has the right of way.
81. If you're going to drink on the job, drink vodka. It's the no-tell liquor.
82. There's nothing wrong with drinking before noon. Especially if you're supposed to be
at work.
83. The bar clock moves twice as fast from midnight to last call.
84. A flask engraved with a personal message is one of the best gifts you can ever give.
And make sure there's something in it.
85. On the intimacy scale, sharing a quiet drink is between a handshake and a kiss.
86. You will forget everyone of of these rules by your fifth drink.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Gray Team Alpha
New book ready for you to read! On Amazon Kindle. Only $5.99. Download and start enjoying a great fun adventure!
Diplomacy
Seems Madam Hillary is spending a couple of days in Shanghai before talks in Peking (remember the David Niven film?). She spoke at the Expo's US pavilion where films are shown touting American goods, etc. She gave kids teddy bears (Teddy Roosevelt). Nice stuff right? However, the stuffed bears, bison, silver lapel pins and pink cowboy hats are all marked, "MADE IN CHINA"
Friday, May 21, 2010
more list stuff
If anything can go wrong, it will – Murphy’s Law
One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory – Brown’s Rule
If you don’t need it and don’t want it, there is always plenty of it – Murphy’s Law of Supply
In America, it’s not how much an item costs, it’s how much you save – Paulg’s Law
Don’t believe everything you hear or anything you say – Murray’s Law
Marriage teaches you loyality, forbearance, selfrestraint, meekness, and a great many other things you wouldn’t need if you had stayed single – Townsend’s Law
It doesn’t matter if you win or lose… until you lose – O.J.’s Law
Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups – Wethern’s Law of Suspended Judgment
There are no answers, only cross-references – Weiner’s Law of Libraries
To err is human, but to really f*ck things up requires a computer – Law of Unreliability
Once you give up integrity, the rest is easy – Evan’s Law
Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich by promising to protect each from the other – Ameringer’s Axiom
When a politician gets an idea, he usually gets it wrong – the 5th Rule of Politics
No matter what goes wrong, it will probably look right – Scott’s First Law
Murphy’s Law always hits at the worst time – Lanning’s Law
Things get worse under pressure – Murphy’s Law of Thermodynamics
Sometimes it takes several years to recognize the obvious – Sy’s Law of Science
If you are in a hole, stop digging – 1st Rule of Excavation
There is no issue so small that it can’t be blown out of proportion – Ruckert’s Law
The degree to which you overreact to information will be in inverse proportion to its accuracy – Weatherwax’s Postulate
The item you had your eye on the minute you walked in will be taken by the person in front of you – Cafeteria Law
Nothing is as temporary as that which is called permanent – Jose’s Axiom
Nothing is as permanent as that which is called temporary – Corollary
Free time that unexpectedly becomes available will be wasted – Sandiland’s Law
The one who does the least work will get the most credit – Shapiro’s Law of Reward
No matter how often a lie is shown to be false, there will remain a percentage of people who believe it to be true – Law of the Lie
The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you’ve got it made – Glyme’s Formula for Success
Never replicate a successful experiment – Fett’s Law of the Lab
Accuracy is the sum total of your compensating mistakes – Wingfield’s Axiom
As soon as you’re doing what you wanted to be doing, you want to be doing something else – Law of Living
There’s no time like the present for postponing what you don’t want to do – Hecht’s Law
Whichever way you turn upon entering an elevator, the buttons will be on the opposite side – Gluck’s Law
If credit can possibly go to someone else, it will – Kovaleski’s Dictum
If you don’t do anything, you can’t do anything wrong – Cameron’s Law
It is impossible for anyone to learn that which he thinks he already knows – Plutarch’s Rule
The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people – Chesterton
A little inaccuracy can save a lot of explanation – Munroe’s Teaching Principle
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive – Grandpa Charnock’s Law
Man is always ready to die for an idea, provided that the idea is not quite clear to him – Eldridge’s Law of War
If you don’t care where you are, you’re not lost – Rune’s Rule of the Road
One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory – Brown’s Rule
If you don’t need it and don’t want it, there is always plenty of it – Murphy’s Law of Supply
In America, it’s not how much an item costs, it’s how much you save – Paulg’s Law
Don’t believe everything you hear or anything you say – Murray’s Law
Marriage teaches you loyality, forbearance, selfrestraint, meekness, and a great many other things you wouldn’t need if you had stayed single – Townsend’s Law
It doesn’t matter if you win or lose… until you lose – O.J.’s Law
Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups – Wethern’s Law of Suspended Judgment
There are no answers, only cross-references – Weiner’s Law of Libraries
To err is human, but to really f*ck things up requires a computer – Law of Unreliability
Once you give up integrity, the rest is easy – Evan’s Law
Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich by promising to protect each from the other – Ameringer’s Axiom
When a politician gets an idea, he usually gets it wrong – the 5th Rule of Politics
No matter what goes wrong, it will probably look right – Scott’s First Law
Murphy’s Law always hits at the worst time – Lanning’s Law
Things get worse under pressure – Murphy’s Law of Thermodynamics
Sometimes it takes several years to recognize the obvious – Sy’s Law of Science
If you are in a hole, stop digging – 1st Rule of Excavation
There is no issue so small that it can’t be blown out of proportion – Ruckert’s Law
The degree to which you overreact to information will be in inverse proportion to its accuracy – Weatherwax’s Postulate
The item you had your eye on the minute you walked in will be taken by the person in front of you – Cafeteria Law
Nothing is as temporary as that which is called permanent – Jose’s Axiom
Nothing is as permanent as that which is called temporary – Corollary
Free time that unexpectedly becomes available will be wasted – Sandiland’s Law
The one who does the least work will get the most credit – Shapiro’s Law of Reward
No matter how often a lie is shown to be false, there will remain a percentage of people who believe it to be true – Law of the Lie
The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you’ve got it made – Glyme’s Formula for Success
Never replicate a successful experiment – Fett’s Law of the Lab
Accuracy is the sum total of your compensating mistakes – Wingfield’s Axiom
As soon as you’re doing what you wanted to be doing, you want to be doing something else – Law of Living
There’s no time like the present for postponing what you don’t want to do – Hecht’s Law
Whichever way you turn upon entering an elevator, the buttons will be on the opposite side – Gluck’s Law
If credit can possibly go to someone else, it will – Kovaleski’s Dictum
If you don’t do anything, you can’t do anything wrong – Cameron’s Law
It is impossible for anyone to learn that which he thinks he already knows – Plutarch’s Rule
The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people – Chesterton
A little inaccuracy can save a lot of explanation – Munroe’s Teaching Principle
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive – Grandpa Charnock’s Law
Man is always ready to die for an idea, provided that the idea is not quite clear to him – Eldridge’s Law of War
If you don’t care where you are, you’re not lost – Rune’s Rule of the Road
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
life thoughts
Ran across this list . . .
1 I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
2 Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
3 I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
4 The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.
5 Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. “Yes” is the answer.
6 Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
7 We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
8 Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.
9 We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
10 Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
11 Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
12 War does not determine who is right – only who is left.
13 If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.
14 The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
15 Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
16 Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
17 If sex is a pain in the ass, then you’re doing it wrong…
18 Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
19 Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
20 A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
21 My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
22 I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian
23 If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.
24 I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
25 If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
26 Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
27 If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea… does that mean that one enjoys it?
28 Some people are like Slinkies … not really good for anything, but you can’t help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
29 How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
30 Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
31 A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.
32 Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
33 Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
34 To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
35 A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
36 I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with “Guess” on it…so I said “Implants?”
37 Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
38 A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
39 The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
40 Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
41 Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
42 Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.
43 The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
44 Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says “If an emergency, notify:” I put “DOCTOR”. What’s my mother going to do?
45 He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
46 The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
47 I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
48 Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
49 God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
50 Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
51 The sole purpose of a child’s middle name, is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.
52 Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
53 Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
54 Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
55 My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
56 Some people say “If you can’t beat them, join them”. I say “If you can’t beat them, beat them”, because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.
57 Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
58 It’s not the fall that kills you; it’s the sudden stop at the end.
59 Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
60 Hospitality: making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were.
61 You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
62 Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
63 I discovered I scream the same way whether I’m about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
64 A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist.
65 My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.
66 I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
67 Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
68 A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
69 We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.
70 You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
71 I should’ve known it wasn’t going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I’m a Libra and she’s a bitch.
72 A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” Father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”
73 With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
74 Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.
75 Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
76 There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away.
77 I don’t trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn’t die.
78 Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
79 Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
80 I always take life with a grain of salt, …plus a slice of lemon, …and a shot of tequila.
81 If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you!
82 I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.
83 When in doubt, mumble.
84 I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
85 To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
86 Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.
87 A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
88 A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
89 Just remember…if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.
90 I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, “I’m going to mop the floor with your face.” I said, “You’ll be sorry.” He said, “Oh, yeah? Why?” I said, “Well, you won’t be able to get into the corners very well.”
91 Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
92 You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket… I’d miss you heaps and think of you often.
93 When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
94 Hallmark Card: “I’m so miserable without you, it’s almost like you’re still here.”
95 Virginity is like a soapbubble, one prick and it is gone.
96 Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
97 If winning isn’t everything why do they keep score?
98 If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you’ll have trouble putting on your pants.
99 If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child.
100 Whoever coined the phrase “Quiet as a mouse” has never stepped on one.
1 I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
2 Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
3 I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
4 The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.
5 Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. “Yes” is the answer.
6 Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
7 We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
8 Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.
9 We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
10 Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
11 Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
12 War does not determine who is right – only who is left.
13 If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.
14 The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
15 Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
16 Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
17 If sex is a pain in the ass, then you’re doing it wrong…
18 Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
19 Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
20 A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
21 My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
22 I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian
23 If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.
24 I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
25 If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
26 Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
27 If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea… does that mean that one enjoys it?
28 Some people are like Slinkies … not really good for anything, but you can’t help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
29 How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
30 Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
31 A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.
32 Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
33 Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
34 To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
35 A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
36 I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with “Guess” on it…so I said “Implants?”
37 Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
38 A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
39 The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
40 Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
41 Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
42 Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.
43 The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
44 Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says “If an emergency, notify:” I put “DOCTOR”. What’s my mother going to do?
45 He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
46 The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
47 I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
48 Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
49 God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
50 Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
51 The sole purpose of a child’s middle name, is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.
52 Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
53 Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
54 Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
55 My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
56 Some people say “If you can’t beat them, join them”. I say “If you can’t beat them, beat them”, because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.
57 Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
58 It’s not the fall that kills you; it’s the sudden stop at the end.
59 Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
60 Hospitality: making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were.
61 You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
62 Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
63 I discovered I scream the same way whether I’m about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
64 A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist.
65 My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.
66 I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
67 Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
68 A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
69 We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.
70 You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
71 I should’ve known it wasn’t going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I’m a Libra and she’s a bitch.
72 A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” Father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”
73 With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
74 Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.
75 Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
76 There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away.
77 I don’t trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn’t die.
78 Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
79 Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
80 I always take life with a grain of salt, …plus a slice of lemon, …and a shot of tequila.
81 If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you!
82 I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.
83 When in doubt, mumble.
84 I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
85 To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
86 Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.
87 A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
88 A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
89 Just remember…if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.
90 I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, “I’m going to mop the floor with your face.” I said, “You’ll be sorry.” He said, “Oh, yeah? Why?” I said, “Well, you won’t be able to get into the corners very well.”
91 Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
92 You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket… I’d miss you heaps and think of you often.
93 When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
94 Hallmark Card: “I’m so miserable without you, it’s almost like you’re still here.”
95 Virginity is like a soapbubble, one prick and it is gone.
96 Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
97 If winning isn’t everything why do they keep score?
98 If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you’ll have trouble putting on your pants.
99 If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child.
100 Whoever coined the phrase “Quiet as a mouse” has never stepped on one.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
casting call
Out of the external fixator and into a hard cast for three weeks - is there no end to this? Anyway, the Podiatrist people are happy with my progress. My jury is still out. Moved rooms in the rehab. Last roomie was very high maintenance. Bedpan every two hours at nite. The opposite hours taken up with calls for ice water. I did not get any sleep for four days.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
rehab, Muslim Veils,
Finally - I see some light at the end of the rehab tunnel! Surgery to remove the external fixator is scheduled for May 6. As of May 11, I should be walking again.
France is getting near the time when veils on Muslim (and others?) women are outlawed. Understanding and respecting other religious customs is all well and good. However, it would be damn difficult to hide enough explosives in a bikini. No you can't hide a damaging amount there - or there either ;>} I could wax prolific on the degradation of women, yada yada yada. Last words on this: 'When in Rome . . .'
France is getting near the time when veils on Muslim (and others?) women are outlawed. Understanding and respecting other religious customs is all well and good. However, it would be damn difficult to hide enough explosives in a bikini. No you can't hide a damaging amount there - or there either ;>} I could wax prolific on the degradation of women, yada yada yada. Last words on this: 'When in Rome . . .'
Saturday, April 17, 2010
4 AM,New AZ concealed carry law
OK would you believe it? Twit worker bee shakes me awake this morning and asks: "Did you go to the bathroom last night?" 4 AM! I'm afraid my response was neither polite nor softly stated. As for the new gun law - how does that affect the reciprocity agreements with other states?
Sunday, April 4, 2010
rehab gulag
I am just amazed at the justifications this rehab cntr goes through to ensure that I cannot have any freedoms at all. Yesterday one of the nurses agreed to do a little shopping for me. Gave her a list which included dinner and a movie. She told the charge nurse who in turn called the company. Decision - absolutely not. Reasons make no sense.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
more rehab thoughts
Being warehoused here has a lot of real emotional negatives. Most of them emotional . . . I have a new appreciation for those incacerated. As I have not had any first hand knowledge of being behind bars, as it where, this is the closest I want to get to actually being in jail.
Seems the Pope is up to his Yamulka in pedophile crap. Gotta say it - if priests could marry . . . Iraq still a senseless killing ground. Republicans still want their insurance company masters to get rid of health care. Why should everyone have a chance at life? I wonder if 3D TV will truely get good enough and popular enough to be the next gotta have?
Seems the Pope is up to his Yamulka in pedophile crap. Gotta say it - if priests could marry . . . Iraq still a senseless killing ground. Republicans still want their insurance company masters to get rid of health care. Why should everyone have a chance at life? I wonder if 3D TV will truely get good enough and popular enough to be the next gotta have?
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
More rehab follies
Sitting here in the hospital bed for the last month has produced no fantastic visions, epiphanies, or other eerie music in the background stuff. I am bored stiff. Oh well! They do try to keep me drugged. Finished a book - bubblegum for the brain.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Rehab - still
Still very bored in rehab. No place to go so stuck here. If I go outside, like down the street to the local market,I get thrown out of here. Like being in a prison, I guess. The CNA staff is terrific. One nurse, Lari, brought me a bag of Cheetos this morning! I have watched more TV in the last month than in the last two years. Can't figure out how to get pictures posted on the blog the little pix icon is missing -
wonder if it is an issue with my Iphone? More to come. PS like the new format?
wonder if it is an issue with my Iphone? More to come. PS like the new format?
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Rehab
Couple of weeks in this damn rehab facility has driven me nuts. With a high maintenance room mate and nothing to do but boring TV. Now faced with the reality of going back to a home where I am not wanted. Life is at a real low point!
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Ankle fusion
The operation was a success. 6 1/2 hours in surgery. Now I have a monster cage around my foot and ankle. Hurts like hell! Now in a rehab facility for 20 days ( no one to look after me)
Monday, February 15, 2010
america's cup
I'm sorry. I just can't get used to a trimaran winning the America's Cup. After all the years of admeasuring, monohull design (with a thought to the teardrop design at the bottom of the keel, etc.) We are now watching the race among a couple of tri designs - trimarans have always been faster - lower wetted surfaces, etc. But, do they do justice to the competition? Think of a baseball game that allows aluminium bats, spitballs, steroids etc. I've done a lot of sailing, racing and cruising; but, give me a monohull anytime. O.K. I'm not a multihull fan. However, I am somewhat of a traditionalist and want to see the return to real big boat racing, where the skill of the helmsman and crew are more important than the go-fast over the top boat design.
Friday, February 12, 2010
olympics, Rio
Hell-u-va way to start the festivities - Luge guy from Georgia (the country) had an accident and died at the hospital. Rio has legislated a very toned down Carnival this year. Going to be known as the no-fun city of South America from now on, I guess. I realize that there is a fine line between crime (with a capital C) and party goers letting it all hang out. I doubt that anything will really be accomplished by the new ordinances.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Charlie Wilson, snow
Charlie Wilson died. He as the guy that backed the funding of the Muhajine's (sp?) guns, rockets, ammo, etc. The evil empire Commies that were overrunning the worlds largest growers of opium poppies - now you remember him? (Hint: Tom Hanks played him in the movie 'Charlie Wilson's War'. Anyway, I wonder if it is now the time for the Russkies to fund the Taliban against the US of A? Turnabout is fair play, or so they say. 'Course Charlie wasn't into heroin and dark haired Afgan ladies - he preferred cocaine and blondes.
I wonder what the Dems are thinking about global warming in Washington now? Betcha some redneck Republican will use the snowstorm (worse in history) as proof that global warming is not an issue - funded by the coal coalition, of course. And, might as well throw in the theory of evolution while we're at it. Nothing could evolve in such terrible cold . . .
personal stuff - went to get a new tire for my truck today - took 4 1/2 hours for a lousy tire. Don't ask.
I wonder what the Dems are thinking about global warming in Washington now? Betcha some redneck Republican will use the snowstorm (worse in history) as proof that global warming is not an issue - funded by the coal coalition, of course. And, might as well throw in the theory of evolution while we're at it. Nothing could evolve in such terrible cold . . .
personal stuff - went to get a new tire for my truck today - took 4 1/2 hours for a lousy tire. Don't ask.
congressional twits, snow, surgery
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow . . . Midatlantic snowstorm shuts down congress. Obama relieved at the respite from those who oppose making sure that all Americans get health care. And there is even problems with tryibng to create jobs for Americans. I just don't get it! Is politics more important than the people that are supposedly being represented?
On a smaller and more personal issue. I am having surgury on my right ankle next week. That's OK. However, the surgeon asked me if I didn't mind if salespeoplke from various drug and ortho appliances, etc. were in the operating room when I have my surgery. That seems a bit off the chart for doctors to be chatting with salesmen while operating on me. What do you think?
The other news in the world is sort of slow this morning. Which is OK? People being killed and maimed in the 'war zones of the East and Africa, Trusted car maker Toyota has more recalls. But, will profit from the current probs. BTW, GM and Ford still have history's largest recalls. Go figure.
On a smaller and more personal issue. I am having surgury on my right ankle next week. That's OK. However, the surgeon asked me if I didn't mind if salespeoplke from various drug and ortho appliances, etc. were in the operating room when I have my surgery. That seems a bit off the chart for doctors to be chatting with salesmen while operating on me. What do you think?
The other news in the world is sort of slow this morning. Which is OK? People being killed and maimed in the 'war zones of the East and Africa, Trusted car maker Toyota has more recalls. But, will profit from the current probs. BTW, GM and Ford still have history's largest recalls. Go figure.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
blushwood, Danica, Haiti
I kinda like the way that the internet gets things to one's personal computer faster than the speed of rumors. The research on the fruit of the blushwood shrub being a possible cure for cancer has a bunch of sites reporting the finding - this is an Australian bush and research.
The snows of Washington only elicited a footnote from the fact that the supreme court let employees go home early on Friday.
Iran and the rest of the world (excluding maybe China and Russia) are still at odds about their nuclear ambition. Gates is calling for 'stronger' sanctions.
Danica Patrick's new ad that was banned on the networks as being too racy will be shown on the GoDaddy site Sunday. I predict that probably the hits will be higher than the game itself.
The news usually has a lot of questioning stuff in it, no matter how strange it seems. Haiti is one example: as I mentoned yesterday - Clinton is the special ambassador to Haiti. Why is the country one of the poorest in the world? Drug use is rampant, gangs control the streets, with his influence? Hmmm With the child trafficing (politely called indentured servitude work) so high both internally and worldwide from Haiti, why has there been a blind eye turned toward toward this practice. And, why has an estimated only 24% of the people in need actually receiving the food?
The snows of Washington only elicited a footnote from the fact that the supreme court let employees go home early on Friday.
Iran and the rest of the world (excluding maybe China and Russia) are still at odds about their nuclear ambition. Gates is calling for 'stronger' sanctions.
Danica Patrick's new ad that was banned on the networks as being too racy will be shown on the GoDaddy site Sunday. I predict that probably the hits will be higher than the game itself.
The news usually has a lot of questioning stuff in it, no matter how strange it seems. Haiti is one example: as I mentoned yesterday - Clinton is the special ambassador to Haiti. Why is the country one of the poorest in the world? Drug use is rampant, gangs control the streets, with his influence? Hmmm With the child trafficing (politely called indentured servitude work) so high both internally and worldwide from Haiti, why has there been a blind eye turned toward toward this practice. And, why has an estimated only 24% of the people in need actually receiving the food?
Friday, February 5, 2010
school lunches, Palin, mo' bombings in Iraq
Seems the USDA is cracking down on school lunch programs - more inspections, etc. Now, how many years have we endured the lunch lady stuff thrown on our trays? When I was in school, incoming ;} food - burger, cheese and who-knows-what came in large brown boxes marked, "government surplus" - army rations left over from WWII. I suspect that school lunchrooms today are still getting those same boxes . . . I wonder when the government people are going to name that stuff a bio threat and have color coded signs that change with the menu of the day - from salad (green), to cheese mac (red).
Seems that the Alaska first dude has had his e-mails published - the guy tried to influence almost every branch of the State's government. More Sarah woes, I guess, if the publication nails her for inappropriate use of government funds.
More bombs kill folks in Iraq. I am still for a fence around the country and let them sort it out internally. (Remember the 'Escape from ------" movies?)
Seems that the Alaska first dude has had his e-mails published - the guy tried to influence almost every branch of the State's government. More Sarah woes, I guess, if the publication nails her for inappropriate use of government funds.
More bombs kill folks in Iraq. I am still for a fence around the country and let them sort it out internally. (Remember the 'Escape from ------" movies?)
coffee filters
had to post this list that I received from my friend Rich
Coffee filters .... Who knew! And you can buy 1,000 at the Dollar Tree for almost nothing even the large ones.
1. Cover bowls or dishes when cooking in the microwave. Coffee filters make excellent covers.
2. Clean windows, mirrors, and chrome... Coffee filters are lint-free so they'll leave windows sparkling.
3. Protect China by separating your good dishes with a coffee filter between each dish.
4. Filter broken cork from wine. If you break the cork when opening a wine bottle, filter the wine through a coffee filter.
5. Protect a cast-iron skillet. Place a coffee filter in the skillet to absorb moisture and prevent rust.
6. Apply shoe polish. Ball up a lint-free coffee filter.
7. Recycle frying oil. After frying, strain oil through a sieve lined with a coffee filter.
8. Weigh chopped foods. Place chopped ingredients in a coffee filter on a kitchen scale.
9. Hold tacos. Coffee filters make convenient wrappers for messy foods.
10. Stop the soil from leaking out of a plant pot. Line a plant pot with a coffee filter to prevent the soil from going through the drainage holes.
11. Prevent a Popsicle from dripping. Poke one or two holes as needed in a coffee filter.
12. Do you think we used expensive strips to wax eyebrows? Use strips of coffee filters..
13. Put a few in a plate and put your fried bacon, French fries, chicken fingers, etc on them. It soaks out all the grease.
14. Keep in the bathroom. They make great "razor nick fixers."
15. As a sewing backing. Use a filter as an easy-to-tear backing for embroidering or appliqueing soft fabrics.
16. Put baking soda into a coffee filter and insert into shoes or a closet to absorb or prevent odors.
17. Use them to strain soup stock and to tie fresh herbs in to put in soups and stews.
18. Use a coffee filter to prevent spilling when you add fluids to your car.
19. Use them as a spoon rest while cooking and clean up small counter spills.
20. Can use to hold dry ingredients when baking or when cutting a piece of fruit or veggies.. Saves on having extra bowls to wash.
21. Use them to wrap Christmas ornaments for storage.
22. Use them to remove fingernail polish when out of cotton balls.
23. Use them to sprout seeds.. Simply dampen the coffee filter, place seeds inside, fold it and place it into a plastic baggie until they sprout.
24. Use coffee filters as blotting paper for pressed flowers. Place the flowers between two coffee filters and put the coffee filters in phone book..
25. Use as a disposable "snack bowl" for popcorn, chips, etc
Coffee filters .... Who knew! And you can buy 1,000 at the Dollar Tree for almost nothing even the large ones.
1. Cover bowls or dishes when cooking in the microwave. Coffee filters make excellent covers.
2. Clean windows, mirrors, and chrome... Coffee filters are lint-free so they'll leave windows sparkling.
3. Protect China by separating your good dishes with a coffee filter between each dish.
4. Filter broken cork from wine. If you break the cork when opening a wine bottle, filter the wine through a coffee filter.
5. Protect a cast-iron skillet. Place a coffee filter in the skillet to absorb moisture and prevent rust.
6. Apply shoe polish. Ball up a lint-free coffee filter.
7. Recycle frying oil. After frying, strain oil through a sieve lined with a coffee filter.
8. Weigh chopped foods. Place chopped ingredients in a coffee filter on a kitchen scale.
9. Hold tacos. Coffee filters make convenient wrappers for messy foods.
10. Stop the soil from leaking out of a plant pot. Line a plant pot with a coffee filter to prevent the soil from going through the drainage holes.
11. Prevent a Popsicle from dripping. Poke one or two holes as needed in a coffee filter.
12. Do you think we used expensive strips to wax eyebrows? Use strips of coffee filters..
13. Put a few in a plate and put your fried bacon, French fries, chicken fingers, etc on them. It soaks out all the grease.
14. Keep in the bathroom. They make great "razor nick fixers."
15. As a sewing backing. Use a filter as an easy-to-tear backing for embroidering or appliqueing soft fabrics.
16. Put baking soda into a coffee filter and insert into shoes or a closet to absorb or prevent odors.
17. Use them to strain soup stock and to tie fresh herbs in to put in soups and stews.
18. Use a coffee filter to prevent spilling when you add fluids to your car.
19. Use them as a spoon rest while cooking and clean up small counter spills.
20. Can use to hold dry ingredients when baking or when cutting a piece of fruit or veggies.. Saves on having extra bowls to wash.
21. Use them to wrap Christmas ornaments for storage.
22. Use them to remove fingernail polish when out of cotton balls.
23. Use them to sprout seeds.. Simply dampen the coffee filter, place seeds inside, fold it and place it into a plastic baggie until they sprout.
24. Use coffee filters as blotting paper for pressed flowers. Place the flowers between two coffee filters and put the coffee filters in phone book..
25. Use as a disposable "snack bowl" for popcorn, chips, etc
Thursday, February 4, 2010
More Toyota, child kidnapping and market
Wonder if Toyota will ask for a bailout? Since they hav mfg plants here in the US - why not? I still bet that the company will make money on the whole thing. The ten Zealous Baptist folks who snatched the kids in Haiti have been indited. Wonder how it will turn out? Market dumped out today. Looks like the volitile nature of world economics is still a real force.Or the recovery isn't really on track. More on Haiti. If Clinton has for years been the special envoy to this corrupt little poverty enclave of the world . . . (Let you fill in the rest.)
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
coffee, Iran, Toyota
Though I'd talk about coffee this morning. I have had my own blend for more years than I can count. I (obviously) put it in the excellent category. Reason for my choice of lead things to talk about is that Consumer Reports doesn't have much to say that is good about the coffees commercially available. My blend, by the way, is 6 oz Italian, 6 oz Viennese Roast, and 2 oz Sumatra. Yum. Years ago a specialty food chain carried my mix as Captain Ev's Blend. My 15 minutes of fame, I guess.
In other news, seems Iran has announced a rocket launch into space carrying a mouse, two turtles and some worms. I wonder what the worms do. Mouse - captain, Turtles - flight engineer and copilot. Worms ??? The Iranian press is mum on the purpose of the flight, except to say that it will put a satellite into orbit next year.
Toyota has new problems: seems the Prius is in trouble because of its brakes. Hari-Kari time for CEO Toyoda-san? Seems Wozniak of Apple has declared that the problem is not with the pedals, but a software problem - but, noone at Toyota will listen to him. Wonder if the problem he describes could be solved with every Toyota getting an IPad on the dashboard?
In other news, seems Iran has announced a rocket launch into space carrying a mouse, two turtles and some worms. I wonder what the worms do. Mouse - captain, Turtles - flight engineer and copilot. Worms ??? The Iranian press is mum on the purpose of the flight, except to say that it will put a satellite into orbit next year.
Toyota has new problems: seems the Prius is in trouble because of its brakes. Hari-Kari time for CEO Toyoda-san? Seems Wozniak of Apple has declared that the problem is not with the pedals, but a software problem - but, noone at Toyota will listen to him. Wonder if the problem he describes could be solved with every Toyota getting an IPad on the dashboard?
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
swine flu
Seems like the little piggy flu has gone to market. The Telegraph reported this morning that the 'pandemic' is nothing more than a plot by big pharma companies to make billions of dollars. They have, according to the article, raised the fear of the H1N1 to great levels when the flu itself is no more deadly than the regular seasonal flu. I love conspiracy stuff, don't you???
Monday, February 1, 2010
money, gold, suicide bomber
Throw money at the economic crisis (that is claimed to be over). I am always awed by the off-handed way that Presidents announce the budget - $3.8 Trillion - yes, with a 'T'. It's like God is playing Monopoly or the devaluations that turn a buck into a billion whatevers in some of the undeveloped dictator ruled countries. We are still stock piling a huge amount of gold. I am wondering whether or not as to when the Chinese world economic status will get to a position that it no longer needs the U.S. for its principle export needs - consider the growth in India, Brazil, Europe, etc.Will our gold reserves be tapped to pay off the debt we are incurring to overseas interests? Beats the you-know-whats out of me.
In other news John Edwards' sex tape seems to be on top of everything else (no pun). Pity Nancy Kerigan or Monica L. or Brittany and Madonna aren't in it as then it could claim a cast of characters that everyone would want a piece of (no pun #2).
Woman blew herself up in Iraq killing 41 Iraquis. I wonder what she gets when she gets to heaven? To be one of the virgins for the unwashed male bombers? Sorry, it just doesn't make a lot of sense to me.
In other news John Edwards' sex tape seems to be on top of everything else (no pun). Pity Nancy Kerigan or Monica L. or Brittany and Madonna aren't in it as then it could claim a cast of characters that everyone would want a piece of (no pun #2).
Woman blew herself up in Iraq killing 41 Iraquis. I wonder what she gets when she gets to heaven? To be one of the virgins for the unwashed male bombers? Sorry, it just doesn't make a lot of sense to me.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Toyota, bailout
Toyota's CEO has finally made his statement as predicted. His name is Toyoda (duh). Maybe the goverment of Buttwipistan should give the company a bailout? - Too big to fail as a carrier of car bombs? yada yada yada.
ballet, swan lake, child trafficing, Ms America
A little off the subject of the news but this video is worth posting - I imagine it is going viral. Takes a while to load - go get a cup of tea and let it load all the way. ENJOY!
http://www.sonnyradio.com/swanlake_0001.swf
News is about the same today. Politicos nattering about nothin'. Well meaning baptist folks getting busted in Haiti - taking kids, etc. Trafficing in children is really against the law in almost anywhere. Guess a Taliban leader got nailed in Pakistan. Stay tuned for lots of reprisals. Life goes on. Seems that the U.S. is selling guns and copters to Taiwan. Red China is pissed and in a snit. Ms Virginia (am I being politically correct?) got crowned Miss America.
http://www.sonnyradio.com/swanlake_0001.swf
News is about the same today. Politicos nattering about nothin'. Well meaning baptist folks getting busted in Haiti - taking kids, etc. Trafficing in children is really against the law in almost anywhere. Guess a Taliban leader got nailed in Pakistan. Stay tuned for lots of reprisals. Life goes on. Seems that the U.S. is selling guns and copters to Taiwan. Red China is pissed and in a snit. Ms Virginia (am I being politically correct?) got crowned Miss America.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Toyota
Toyota is really putting on the full press ad campaign. (As expected). I think that it is a wonderful way to get attention. Remember the old adage no press is bad, it's all good. As an analogy, think of the movie stars, sports stars, etc. that have had their mug shots released after being arrested. Did that hurt their careers not likely. They "did the right thing, yada yada yada. I'm just waiting for the president of the company to come out with his fireside chat 30 second sound bite.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
State of the Union, Obama, Hillary
Rah Rah, yeah team, we'll get 'em next season, yada yada yada. If you haven't already guessed - that was about the sum of Obama's State of the Union address. I think it will be mitigated by his statement a few days ago that he would rather be a one-term President (not really out of context). The Republican Senators looked really grumpy as they stoically sat, frowned and otherwise looked uncomfortable as everyone else (with the exception of the Supreme Court) gave numerous stand-up ovations. Kinda like the Oscars . . . Have to admit, the guy is a good talker. Never once did he mention Hillary's efforts in her first 200k miles of travelling diplomacy. Has she been set aside as a political burden - for one term according to her. I am sure that the media pundits will have a field day analysing the speech. I have to think of it only as a pep talk: chided the opposition party, threw a zinger at the Supreme Court Justices, and called for new programs for the benefit of main street - not wall street and the big banks. Justice Ginzburg sat with her head down - wonder if she was asleep? Anyway, we'll see what happens over the next year. Jobs, economy, and war wind-downs have set the stage. Obama is still blaming the prior administration. He now has the need to take real charge, change the stuff that really needs changing, accept the stuff that he can't change (politics?), and know the difference between the two.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
ipad, extinction
Uncovered news items that I did not mention in my last blog effort. Yes I know that there are those who are bent on claiming the 6th planetary extinction is just around the corner. However, it seems we can watch it on the news with our new ($499.00) iPad which has been described as something to get all touchy feely about.
Obama, Haiti, Toyota, Ankle Fusion
My commentary today is threefold, First Obama: has he given up on his wide spread shotgun approach and is now deciding to concentrate on one thing at a time - jobs? Hope so. He has spun his wheels so far and needs to settle down to something he can work on and prove that he is a focused leader. Haiti is winding down as a front page item. Seems that plenty of stuff is getting there. But, the food and water is not getting distributed to all the people. Heard one woman complain that only the young strong men are getting the food, etc. as they bully themselves in the lines. Lotsabucks have been channeled to the relief effort. Hopefully it will do something to raise the standard of living in that country - not just line the coffers of the government and crooked big business interests. Toyota is really in deep do-do. All the recalls, etc. However, th cut back of sales on some models may be a boon for Toyota. The company can reduce the production lines, pay less wages, use less materials and ultimately save a bunch of bucks in advertising. The supposed tragedy may actually make money for the company. I love it.
On a personal note, the podiatrist folks want to fuse my ankle - 8 to 12 weeks off my feet. If anyone has had this done let me know the pros and cons.
On a personal note, the podiatrist folks want to fuse my ankle - 8 to 12 weeks off my feet. If anyone has had this done let me know the pros and cons.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Bin laden
This guy can hide, stay in the news and rile up the world. Maybe we should change his name to Lex Luther Laden. Then we can let Superman deal with him. The above natuarally segues to: how the hell can the most highly sophisticated, equipped, electronically enabled and trained Army in the world get its nose bloodied in Afganistan, Iraq, Somalia, (dare I say Viet Nam?)and other fun places in the world? The Russians should have taught us something about Afganistan - like get the hell out of there 'cause you can't win. I'd bet that the Jedi Knights would have an issue with Osama. Looks like we are tallying up the dead in Haiti to 150,000 - getting to the 200,000. What a loss of humanity. I have to agree the key to the Bin Laden mess is Pakistan.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
campaign funds
I have grabbed onto this campaign fund issue - like a bulldog with an attitude. Looking at the decision and the history of campaigning, it seems that the supreme court has opened the doors for any company IN THE WORLD to contribute to any individual's election. That means (in the most paranoid way) that Al Queda or drug cartels or shoddy backroom off-shore drug manufacturers could select, promote and finance a candidate that would vote to soften issues that would further their aims. Do you want this to happen? Hopefully the Supreme Court will review and redebate this issue.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Supreme Court, Tiger, sex addiction
The supreme court ruling on campaign funds seems to rock my boat. I am reminded of some futuristic SiFi movies where corportations control everything - become the government, and only a priviledged few reap the rewards. We may be on the verge of having big business (the folks with the bucks) actually control elections in this country. It is very uncommon for the loser of any election to have expended more money than the winner. (Ross Perot being a notable exception). If Corporations are allowed to spend unlimited amounts of money for a candidate, they have a real good chance of winning the seat and controlling the subsequent votes of the individual elected to office. Polliticians are influenced daily by the lobbying of corporate interests. Now it is the citizen voter's turn to be influenced by the money about to be spent on flashy and misleading ads. America - don't you love it? In other news Tiger Woods is going to a sex addict clininc. Gee, I guess sex is now compartmentalized in the amount that is medically approved. Sounds like a religious thing - only in missionary position and to make children. Hmmm. Haiti is falling off the front page. Text messaging is new donation darling. Look for more - probably in the form of texts to your phone asking for donations. Potential scam issues here. The health care bill is now on 'hold', folks who need medical care will not get it (or get some band-aid care at local emergency rooms) I wonder if the death panel crap was really about not providing medical care to those who cannot afford insurance. Think about it . . .
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Obama's first year
Well, its been one year since Obama took office. I eagerly await the pundits' scorecards on how he's doing. Seems he had a dream about health care, renewed prosperity, Gitmo's dismantling, downsizing Iraq and collecting the money lent to companies 'to big to fail'. How'd he do in his first year? My thoughts are: as well as can be expected. There is no new job growth, except in the government sector. Unemployment still is around 10%. Health care is stuck in the Senate with too many compromises to make it effective. (Death panel crap, abortion rights, and pork additives seem to be more important than health care for everyone.) Foreclosures are still on the rise - I wonder where the money went to redo mortgages? Iraq is still a killing field and we are still there because of the oil . . . Afganistan is an unwinnable piece of ground growing poppies for heroin and idealistic killers of innocent people. Guantanimo is still operating. Seems the people released back to Yemen, etc. are getting their AK-47's loaded and are happy to kill again. Obama did get the peace prize and in his acceptance speech, promised that the U.S. would adhere to the Geneva convention Rules. In other words we still will get places like Egypt to do the waterboarding . . .
Monday, January 18, 2010
Somali pirates
Ya gotta love this - Two rival Somali pirate gangs in a shootout about who's gonna get the ransom money from a taken tanker called the guardian warships to help them out - like I said, you gotta love it.
MLK, Haiti
Haiti is still on top of the news. Remember to donate through your phone TEXT Haiti at 90999 for an easy ten buck donation. On the other side of the coin, looks like some looters are getting shot in Port Au Prince. U.S. and UN sending more troops to bring order to the chaos. Aid still slow getting there because of the airport issues - one runway no real infrastructure, etc, etc, etc. Now on a better note. We have a holiday to remember Martin Luther King. It is amazing how the great peace preachers get themselves assasinated in order to be heard by all. Damn shame. When I was a kid, I read the biography of Ghandi. Wow. (I also read On the Road, the Fountainhead and Peyton Place). Talk about an impressionable mind period . . . Anyway, I digress. Now we have an articulate President whose legacy was formed by MLK and probably Malcom X and many others. Makes for a great resume for a world leader, in my opinion. One a final note, it is a pity that we as a world always have to resort to violence to further our civilization. Rodney King was right -"Why can't we all get along?"
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Haiti and corruption
I'm still stuck on Haiti. Guess they are saying over 70,000 dead and more to come as the rubble is removed from over some bodies and disease sets in. Lot of chatter about rebuilding the country and making it better. Here we have a real dilemma. Th country is not even marginally law-abiding. The corruption is so wide-spread that it probably would take another quake of higher magnitude . . . I know, I know, I shouldn't go there.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Haiti, Devil
Seems that the Aid agencies are squabbling over their 'turf' rather than cooperating. And, the greatest news so far defers to Pat Robertson for declaring that the Haitians made a deal with the devil (no kidding) and were punished by the 7.0 earthquake. Now we know . . .
Friday, January 15, 2010
News
The Haitian thing is getting to the point where there is anarchy in the streets. Looting and other crap. U.S. is going to send 10,000 troops to aid the aid, supposedly. My spin is that since Clinton is the special envoy to this little nation, he asked for troops to be deployed to help quell the riots soon to break out. Only the strongest - those with guns and drug money will prevail if no troops have boots on the ground. Damn shame that the country is so lacking infrastructure, government, and increasingly very unsafe streets. We had the thrilla in manila now the sqeaker in massachusetts. Can it be that the Democrats may lose Ted Kennedy's seat in the senate? Wow. How about the Tylenol recall??? Who said that hacking is all bad - Moscow billboards hacked with a porn video. Stopped traffic. lasted 15 minutes. Naughty naughty. or, nice nice - your call....
Thursday, January 14, 2010
haiti, google and today's news
The tragedy in Haiti seems to stem from very shoddy buildings. California had a 6.5 last week and very little to no damage. (Yes I know the scale is exponential). But, the point is that countries like Haiti and others should put some thought and money into improving their infrastructure, from building codes to disaster relief. Obama has pledged 100Mil ex Clinton is asking for donations by texting 90999. Google is maybe taking a stand against Chinese hacking emails, searches, and other services. The South China Post reported the issue fairly. The Hong Kong Standard was less than candid. Lets see, what else - people getting depressed about Pandora (AVATAR) being so perfect and unattainable. Hmmm. Serena is going for her 12th in Australia. Cabbie in NY returned $21,000 to a 72 year old Italian lady visiting and left her purse in the cab.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
captains supplimental log for today
Haiti - ganga man. had one helluva earthquake. Some are saying a 7 on the shake rattle and roll scale. (Californians are shrugging their shoulders . . .) I am sorry that this happened. But, it will ease some of the pressure on Obama for the moment. The health care bill, terrorStans, deficit and more job losses. Guy does need a break and this Haitian thing will help divert attention of the news media.
news, palin
Gee - what a surprise that Sarah has opted to join Fox News. This may disenfranchise her bid for 2012, but will certainly put her in the spotlight of the voice of the conservative GOP. I think that she should have stayed in office in Alaska and petitioned congress for a great wall between her and the nasty Russian lands she can see from her house. Would sort of be like the Mexican fence with all the money thrown at it. I think that her influence for the 2012 elections may be minimal as she continues to be a cartoon.
Monday, January 11, 2010
today, news, freeze, terrorism
Seems the strawberries are getting ready to automatically become ready for ice cream with the cold weather messing with Florida. Not much news of note today - usual stuff about Gitmo - should we or shouldn't we get rid of it as the guys who have been released gravitate back to their terrorist orgs and start bombing. Hmmm sitting in a cell (bad) with good kosher food (yeah its Kosher, no kidding, no pig parts, etc.), or going back to get a bomb vest strapped on and bet on the virgins . . . That seems to be rather degrading to young ladies, but I digress. The Danish guy who drew the face of Muhammad turned 81, Elvis' 75th (on the 8th), and national undies on the the subway???, are the biggies of today. I'm still looking for my beshert, but that's another blog. California did get a little rock and roll at 6.5 on the mosh scale. Wonder if that is because Leno is being axed at 10 and will go to a half hour show (at $30 mil an year). Another insensitive remark about Obama seems he don' be talkin' black nuf. But, he will be remembered in his library as having something other than picture books on the shelves. You, know, like: Fun with Dick and Watergate; Ford stumbled here; Bill dropped his shorts - the sequel: and, W lost his place - sounding out the first word.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
News terrorists
Seems that terrorists have blasted back in the headlines. AlQuaeda, taliban, misc crazies around the world are all testing to determine where John Q Public will become afraid. We have reacted with racial profiling, planning full body scanning (wonder if women will get a free mammogram?) and other security stuff. He'll, why not hire the folks at ElAl to handle the issue? They have extremely safe airlines. As for the bombers, they all seem to be small time idealists - crazy idealists. Like McVey, unibomber and Mrs Snow my 3rd grade teacher. When something happens the big BinLadens take the credit pontificate and wait in some Pakistani cave for the next event. Hmmm.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Today - not a day of infamy (sorry news junkies). Seems the top issue falls in the 'where is the kid?' Mom gave him away or caretakers with possibly phoney custody papers have him hidden, and what about the indignant dad? Sigh. Irani folks protesting get clobbered by riot cops. Biden's mom died. I worry about folks that overrate the news stories and personalize them as if they are actually involved somehow. Chaos theory says that everything (actions) are somehow interrelated. Is this the reason for the high interest. Do our brains actually make the coonection? Beats me.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
I am looking forward to this year to be great. (Hpoe springs eternal???) heard that the VFOP (volunteers for oranges preservation) are knitting little booties to keep theIr Florida navels warm in the current cold snap - take that global warming! Anyway looks like one more surgery on my ankle and I can be a contestant in Dancing With The Stars! Trying to get a new approach to my blog for 2010. Something focused.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
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